For most married couples who are still in love but are experiencing issues, the biggest source of occasional arguments or fights is usually that of money. Any married person knows that issues related to money can be a huge source of aggravation and pain in their relationship. The mere mention of money can bring up a lot of emotional baggage for most of us – which is usually a residual from things we learned during childhood.
Here are 5 tips for how to get both husband and wife on the same page about money:
1. Set aside a time once per month to sit down and discuss your finances
When facing financial issues like debt, a lost job, or disagreements about spending, it is important to face them together – as a couple. This can be hard to do. After all, dealing with the issues oneself is difficult enough, so it can be even more so when trying to do so as a couple due to differences of opinions about money and how it should be handled. The first step, then, for how to get husband and wife on the same page about money is to make a “date” once per month whereby you sit down together to discuss your finances. By setting aside this special time, you are showing that you are willing to take your situation seriously and tackle any challenges you face together.
2. Share regular updates about the 3 basics: credit cards, spending, and savings
When you finally sit down together to discuss your finances, try breaking the issues into three “buckets” or categories: credit cards (or other debt), spending and savings. If you think about it, all of your financial issues can be put into one of these three buckets. Once you have broken things down this way, it should be simpler to tackle each topic by taking stock of where you are and where you want to be.
3. Set one-year and five-year savings goals
Saving for retirement is an important financial goal for any pre-retirement couple. Set short-term and mid-term savings goals. (Usually, a one-year and five-year goal should be appropriate.) If you have trouble agreeing on your goals, take the time to hear out each other’s opinions – and be careful not to say hurtful things if your opinions differ.
4. Agree to discuss any major purchases ahead of time
Almost all couples I know have slightly – or largely – differing views on how to spend their money. These differences usually can be traced back to each person’s worldview: some people tend to believe (and act) like money is for the spending, since life is short. Others feel that saving for the long-term future is the only prudent path. Still, one simple thing you can do to is to agree that you will discuss any major purchase with each other ahead of time. Of course, just what constitutes a “major purchase” will vary from couple to couple – this is a figure for you to decide. But, bottom line is: stick to a figure ($10, $100, $500, etc.) and agree to discuss with each other any purchases in advance that exceeds this amount.
5. Use a “safe word” that signals to your spouse that you are feeling flustered about money
As mentioned above, just the mention of “money” brings up powerful emotions for most people. If there is a recurring money issue that seems to be causing you and your spouse ongoing conflict, consider coming up with a “safe word” that signals indirectly that one of you is going to that crazy place where you might get upset. The safe word can be any word or phrase you choose – as long as you both agree to it and can remember it. Then, if and when the financial issue-du-jour seems like it is causing more trouble than it is worth, one of you can say the safe word in order to diffuse the situation. Once this happens, take a deep breath and agree to talk about it later, once you have both calmed down enough to discuss it rationally.
Being on the same page about money is a cornerstone of any healthy relationship. I know, because I have seen money be the cause of much frustration in both my own relationships, and of those of couples whom I know personally. Try these 5 tips to ensure that you stay on the same page about money.
Susan Willis
http://www.articlesbase.com/finance-articles/how-to-get-husband-and-wife-on-the-same-page-about-money-5-tips-723535.html
Most of us have no idea where our money is. The only sure thing is that it’s not in the bank to which we entrusted it. The bank has submitted it for circulation in the global money market.
They mentioned that before 2012:
allot of people have dropped a verse to this beat including lil kim remy ma amil and nikki minaj